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Therapy, Personal Growth & Self Knowledge …Really?

August 8th, 2011 · growth, personal growth, Self, self-knowledge, therapy

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personal growth

Many speak about therapy and/or psychotherapy as a route to personal growth and self knowledge, but can it really deliver? That depends a lot on the kind of therapy, the attitude of the person undertaking it, and the knowledge and attitude of the therapist.

The famous passage quoted below illustrates this very well.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost … I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But, it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in … it’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

from Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk , © Portia Nelson 1993

The good outcome in this story is due to three things.

1) Reflection

The author of the poem has the courage to look at what is going on in her life.  Not at first, because panic and confusion are in the driver’s seat.  But eventually, she faces the questions: “What is going on?’, “What caused this?”  And, actually, at an even more basic level, she’s able to admit that “I’m in a hole!”

2) Willingness to Honestly Look at Oneself

Gradually, the poem’s author is able to put down her knee-jerk self defense, and to clearly see her role in creating this situation.  She is able to do this with compassionate self acceptance.

3) Willingness to Put Insights Into Action

Once she has these insights, she acts on them and experiences personal growth.

Very often, these three steps need the fertile ground, compassion and support of the right therapy to best come into being.

 Brian Collinson, Psychotherapist & Jungian Analyst | Oakville, Burlington and Mississauga Ontario

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© 2011 Brian Collinson
2238 Constance Drive, Oakville, Ontario (near Mississauga)

 

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Issues for a Psychotherapist in Mississauga or Oakville

June 2nd, 2011 · Mississauga, Oakville, Psychology and Suburban Life, psychotherapist, psychotherapist in Mississauga

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psychotherapist in Mississauga

A psychotherapist in Mississauga or Oakville or surrounding areas faces some key issues that recur frequently.  Therapists in urban or rural areas face them, too, but they take on very specific forms in suburbia.

  • Isolation and Connection

It may not be apparent, but many people in suburban communities have to wrestle with loneliness, despite all the messages of family and togetherness.  The struggle that many people face is to find some meaningful connection with others.  No one wants to find themselves totally isolated, whether through geography, lack of time to make connections, or inability to find people with whom they have anything in common.

  • What is Persona: False Self, Real Self, Identity

We all need to wear social masks, but in suburban communities, those social masks can be particularly thick.  We may even have a lot of trouble distinguishing between our “social mask” — and who we really are.  Beyond the mask, what is really my own?  What do I really think and feel? What do I really want for myself?

  • Wealth: Too Much, Too Little

We pretend money is very rational, but wealth is actually a particularly emotional subject.  That is certainly true in suburban communities, where peoples’ identity very often hinges on their wealth and possessions.  People wrestle with how much is enough and whether they have to sacrifice who they are to make enough wealth for their needs.  This can be a real source of pain.

  • Hidden Pain

In communities like ours, we often subtly and unknowingly put pressure on people to look good.  And very often people do look good, and hide away the pain and difficulty in their lives, and then feel even lonelier.  People need some place where someone will listen to their story, and really witness and accept what they are going through in their lives.

  • Don’t Get Old!

How does one age with dignity and grace in communities that are all oriented to youth, family and children?  In our current, aging population, people are often made to feel that getting older is failure.  Couple that with the present environment where getting a job past age 55 is greatly more difficult, and getting older starts to feel like almost a crime.  We’ve lost the sense of wisdom and completion that goes with getting older in many cultures.

These issues call for psychotherapy that will bring healing, connection, meaning, and a resilient sense of personal identity.  Depth psychotherapy, such as Jungian analysis can bring this, by grounding us in our own deepest selves.

Brian Collinson, Psychotherapist & Jungian Analyst

Main Website for Brian’s Oakville and Mississauga Practice

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© 2011 Brian Collinson
2238 Constance Drive, Oakville, Ontario (near Mississauga )

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4 Benefits of Psychotherapy for Work Related Stress

April 25th, 2011 · psychotherapy for work related stress, stress, work related stress

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work related stress

Why would someone get psychotherapy for work related stress?  There are a variety of reasons, but a key consideration is that the stress of work is often so consuming that it involves the whole person.  Because it is concerned with healing for the whole person, psychotherapy can often be the most effective way to deal with problems concerning personal growth and work.

Four principal benefits that come through psychotherapy for work-related stress are the following.

1.  Talking with Someone Outside Your Situation Can be Vital

It can be essential to speak to someone who is outside your situation to gain some perspective on your work situation, and how all the stress and emotional factors are affecting you.  Someone who is objective, but who can truly listen and be emotionally attuned, like a depth psychotherapist, can be invaluable.

2.  “Hanging onto Yourself” Makes a Huge Difference

Staying in a place where you are not overwhelmed by emotional or stress factors at work can be vital.  To gain real insight and help in dealing with potentially overpowering emotional factors can make a great deal of difference for “getting through”.

3.  Work Related & Personal Stress Amplify Each Other

Often important personal issues can affect the stress loading at work, and work stress can complicate personal life and relationships.  Good psychotherapy creates an environment where you can understand all the separate factors, and begin to deal with each of them in the way you really want and need.

4.  Connecting Work to the Direction & Meaning of Your Life

Work is a part of life, but it isn’t the whole thing.  Work can be fulfilling, but the whole person, the Self, needs more than just work.  Depth psychotherapy focuses on the needs of the whole person, conscious and unconscious, and how a person’s work fits together with, and emerges from, the needs of the deepest personality.  This is an exploration that many people need to make for a meaningful life.

How Does Your Work Relate to Your Deepest Self?

What do you want and need from your work life?  Is the stress that your work produces interfering with your sense of well-being, and keeping you from a fulfilling life?  Psychotherapy can open up the way to healing and meaningful connection of your work life with your life as a complete person.

Wishing you the satisfaction of meaningful, balanced work on your journey to wholeness,

Brian Collinson, Psychotherapist & Jungian Analyst

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PHOTO CREDIT:  © ShashiBellamkonda

© 2011 Brian Collinson

Brian Collinson, 2238 Constance Drive, Oakville, Ontario (near Oakville / Mississauga border)

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