Counselling for Depression or Anxiety: Will it Work for Me? ~Pt 2

January 29th, 2018 · counselling for depression or anxiety

Continuing from the last post, we’re looking at more of the factors that help to make counselling for depression or anxiety effective for you.

As I mentioned at the outset of that last post, therapy or counselling for depression or anxiety can offer unique benefits in helping the individual to peacefully accept him or herself, and in terms of accessing creative and life-giving ways to approach her or his life.  In the previous post, we looked at some ways in which this occurs in effective therapy.  Here, we look at some more…

Am I Really Willing to Forge a Close Connection with My Counsellor / Therapist?

In counselling for depression or anxiety, as in all forms of therapy, the therapeutic relationship is crucial.  Psychotherapy experts such as Prof. John Norcross and others note that the quality of the relationship with the psychotherapist largely determines the success of the counselling or therapy.

If you can:

• openly discuss how you experience your interactions with your therapist directly with him or her;
• discuss your positive or negative reactions to your therapist, and,
• discuss what you imagine your therapist might be feeling or thinking,

you will actually develop a great deal of insight into what is happening inside of you.  (Warning: this isn’t going to happen in the first 3 sessions!}

Being Honest with Myself — In a Way That’s Kind to Me

Therapy or counselling works when we have the courage to be as honest with ourselves as possible.  However, it’s also essential to avoid beating yourself up once you’re been honest!

As many have stated, to make counselling or therapy work you need a combination of non-defensive honesty with genuinely compassionate self-acceptance.  It’s easy to fall into a defensive, self-protective stance when we face an uncomfortable insight into how we’re living and handling situations in our lives.  When we react this way — and we might well, if counselling or therapy are asking the right questions — it’s essential to try as hard as we can to be both honest, and full of love and compassion towards ourselves.

What’s My Basic Personal Story? Am I Willing to Let Go and Change It?

The human mind constructs a fundamental story about our lives in the world.  We use story to help ourselves make sense of the events and complexity of life.  The kind of story we tell ourselves will greatly impact how we feel about ourselves, and on what we expect from our lives, and our relationships.

Depth psychotherapists know that the story we tell ourselves is often largely unconscious.  Yet it’s still extremely powerful.  If we’re in the grips of a story that has us as the hero who must save everyone, or as the perpetual victim, or as the perennial misfit, it can basically run our lives.  Virtually every situation in which we find ourselves can seem to confirm the story.

Are we willing to try to observe patterns in our lives that might give us clues as to the nature of the overarching story in our lives?  It can be very important to take in the big picture in our lives, and then ask — is this story good for me?  Does it really reflect who I am? Am I willing to try and change it — change my beliefs — if it’s a limiting or crippling story that just isn’t fair to me?

Am I Willing to Actually Change Things in My Life?

Experiment!   (PHOTO: NASA)

Are we prepared to act in support of new beliefs or changing attitudes, by doing something concrete in the outer world?  If therapeutic work is to make a difference, the work must extend beyond the therapist’s office, and into our lives.  Am I willing to make appropriate outer changes in my life? To try new and different patterns of activity?  Am I willing to do inner work, like journalling, creative work, or exploring dreams?  Undertaking such concrete, conscious steps may be essential to making my therapy work real and effective in my life.

Counselling for Depression or Anxiety as A Journey to Wholeness

Jungian depth psychotherapy occurs both within the hour of therapy or counselling, but also inside the individual client and in his or her outer life outside of the therapy session.  The integration of these elements structures the journey towards wholeness, .

Brian Collinson, Registered Psychotherapist & Jungian Psychoanalyst

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PHOTOS:  Robert Bejil (Creative Commons Licence) ; NASA Goddard Space Flight Center (Creative Commons Licence)

© 2017 Brian Collinson, 2238 Constance Drive Oakville, Ontario (near Mississauga)

 

Counselling for Depression or Anxiety: Will it Work for Me?

January 22nd, 2018 · counselling for depression or anxiety

Many people consider counselling for depression or anxiety if they find themselves struggling with these issues.  But is it a good idea?  Here’s a frank assessment.

There are a number of factors that go into deciding whether to seek therapy or counselling for depression or anxiety.  Therapy or counselling can be highly effective with these issues, but it’s essential to understand what the process entails, before committing to it.

There are many other approaches to treating depression or anxiety — e.g., medication, exercise, mindfulness meditation, etc.  All of these can be of some benefit, and many of them can be profitably combined.  However, the path of counselling or therapy offers unique benefits, in terms of self-understanding, self-compassion and forging new and creative directions in life.  To gain these benefits, though, it’s essential to give the process what it really needs to move forward.

Am I Prepared to “Get Real”?

We all hide behind masks in our world, and to some extent, we all have to.  If we were to just uncontrollably vent our feelings of anger or frustration on our boss, or on the traffic cop who pulls us over for a ticket, things probably wouldn’t go well!  So, hiding who we really are, to some degree, is often a very important thing to do in life, enabling us to survive and flourish.

Yet, there may be a lot of situations in life where we wish that we could be real, and show who we really are, perhaps more than we do.  This can be a very important area of growth for many people.

In particular, it can be essential to show who we are, if we expect counselling for depression or anxiety to help us.  Only if we’re honest about our reactions, and what we’re thinking and feeling, can we really begin to accept, understand and take care of our true selves.

People may come into therapy, and feel that they’re expected to wear a “good therapy client” mask — to be who the therapist or counsellor expects them to be.  Yet in all kinds of counselling or therapy, and especially depth psychotherapy, it’s essential to be honest and open about who we really are.

Can I Acknowledge My Feelings — and Not Get Totally Lost in Them?

Part of being real is truly acknowledging my feelings.  It’s essential to bring those feelings into the counselling or therapy and to work with them.

Some feelings are easier to acknowledge than others.  Anger, shame, and intense grief are examples of very strong feelings that are hard for many to be honest and open about in the context of counselling or therapy.

On the one hand, acknowledging our feelings can be a demanding task.  Yet, once we bring them in, it’s equally important to not to be just run by our feelings.  We need to acknowledge them, but not let them “take over the show”.  Just venting, or what used to be called “catharsis” of feelings won’t bring healing.

We need to bring up our feelings, to know them well, and to be compassionate towards the parts of ourselves that feel them.  We can then use what we learn from those feelings to help ourselves in the whole of our lives.  Developing the capacity to do this is often an essential part of counselling or therapy.

The Source of Genuine Change — is in Me

Ultimately, genuine change comes from acknowledging who we really are, while changing what we actually can in our lives.  This especially involves changing our attitudes and approaches to things inside of ourselves.  When all is said and done, willingness to find the ways to change what we can in our lives, and particularly in ourselves, will be decisive factors in effective therapy or counselling for depression or anxiety.

Jungian depth psychotherapists emphasize the importance of the unconscious mind.   For effective therapy, much depends on whether the client is open to the changing attitudes that are trying to emerge from the unconscious.

Counselling for Anxiety or Depression as A Journey to Wholeness

The authentic connection involved in therapy can be of tremendous value to those suffering from anxiety or depression.  Central to this process is the environment or climate of acceptance created in good counselling or therapy and the positive and supportive alliance between the therapist / counsellor and the client.  A strong alliance enables the creation of self-acceptance and self-compassion and the process of being profoundly honest with oneself.  These factors are the dynamic core of real change.

The work of Jungian depth psychotherapy has as its goal the journey towards wholeness, a self accepting and self-compassionate understanding and integration of all that we are.

For Part 2 of this post, click here.

Brian Collinson, Registered Psychotherapist & Jungian Psychoanalyst

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PHOTOS:  Caitlin Regan (Creative Commons Licence) ; D. Brandsma (Creative Commons Licence)

© 2018 Brian Collinson, 2238 Constance Drive Oakville, Ontario (near Mississauga)